Embracing Essentialism

Here I am again.

Three weeks into the New Year, five and a bit pounds lighter (I miss wearing my old clothes), and determined to keep things slow and simple.

The second half of 2021, for me, was a time of unrelenting stress which like the tide would momentarily recede then return again, threatening to pull me under. I was teetering on the brink of burnout - think continual headaches, sleeplessness, anxiety, panic and generally feeling irritated with everyone and everything. Juggling responsibilities. Agreeing to more responsibilities then getting annoyed with myself for not setting any boundaries.

Then the tide started to turn.

Working in a gallery, we stock some lovely magazines and often there’s a pile of back issues to help ourselves to. My boss left a stack of old Flow magazines and I checked nobody else wanted them then took the lot home with me. I’m reasonably self-aware but am also a down-to-earth Northern type with little time for psychobabble or woo-woo stuff, so admittedly started reading them with a bit of healthy cynicism.

But you know what? There was an awful lot of common sense in there. Not the whole ‘Ask the universe and it will provide’, chakras-and-incense content I was expecting, but articles on modern life and how to effectively negotiate your way through it. Much of this was just plain common sense which had been, for me at least, hiding in plain sight but was now eye-opening, revelatory even.

I actually tore out pages, highlighted whole paragraphs and made notes in a little pocket-sized book for future reference.

As you know, I worship at the Church of Pinterest. I find it incredibly relaxing and inspiring to scroll through endless beautiful photographs. It’s the one social media platform which doesn’t make me feel a bit hopeless (comparing my life to the curated perfection of others). It doesn’t make me bristle that they send me targeted content because they know what I like. I actually love that. And I have a board filled with quotes and words of wisdom. But I’ve started writing some of them down into a cloth-bound book so I can read through it in a tangible form. Even the act of scribing these things with a favourite pen makes me actually consider them as I’m doing it, so the words sink in and resonate.

There are a lot of topics to cover should I decide to go down that route and blog about wellbeing as well as the usual miscellany. For now, I’m applying some of the tips and techniques I’ve learned to my daily life.

Three or four weeks ago I disabled my Facebook account and to be honest, I don’t ever think about it any more. I’m still unsure about Instagram - I find posting a bit of a bind but at the same time it’s my one real line of communication with certain friends. I’ll never be an Instagram superstar and I’m fine with that, but it’s useful for letting people know about new blog posts.

I’m trying not to get stressed about things which are out of my control, and instead focus on and manage my response to events.

I’m limiting myself to two social activities every week (already I’m going to the cinema on Tuesday night to see this - and possibly go for drinks beforehand - and I’m meeting my friend on Friday for a walk and a cafe stop back home in Rossendale).

Of course, there’s no avoiding stress completely. I’ve had a lot of stuff going on recently with my brother which has caused much worry and continues to do so. Joe’s after school club is closing at the end of January but fortunately the next school along are offering places (cue completing a 12-page form plus arranging him a place on the little yellow bus which will take him there). The house purchase is, yet again, turning out to be complicated and we’re awaiting the results of a structural survey.

But I’m learning to deal with the essentials and shelve the rest. Some things have to be done; others, not so much.

A few weeks ago I cleared out my mum’s bureau and now my (many) notebooks are empty and ready to be used. I’m focusing this year on writing; two projects and two alone. The photography is purely for my own pleasure right now. The blog is part of my life now and will continue to be.

Art (printmaking and the like) isn’t a priority. It’s not something I intend to do for an income any more and that’s OK. Joe and I have sessions at the dining table with gouache or clay and that’s enough for me.

I have a job, I have a kid, I have a family and home and friends. Once all the must-dos are out of the way, there isn’t that much time left for like-tos. Reading, writing, being outdoors, taking pictures, watching films, going to interesting places. Why try to cram more in and end up feeling frustrated and overwhelmed?

Of course, this in itself is an ongoing process but one I’m relishing. You have to keep reminding yourself and affirming what, how and why. At work we’re doing January stocktakes and I’m enjoying those, too: there’s something about getting stuck into an activity and focusing fully on it rather than doing a bit of this and that, multitasking.

And there’s much to savour right now. The winter is perfect for introspection and making plans, but it’s good to get out too. We’ve had some truly breathtaking sunrises recently and Joe and I get to take them in while we’re up in the hills waiting for school to start. Frosty mornings and creeping mists. The afternoons too, when the sun’s low in the sky and the clouds are like a box of Turkish delight, pink and yellow and lilac.

I’ve been out with the camera a few times. The pictures in this post are mostly from Heptonstall (with one or two taken in the back garden). You might be wondering why there are both colour and black and white versions of some; it’s because I couldn’t decide which I preferred so included both. Frost photographs beautifully.

On Wednesday I met up with one of my best friends at the garden centre and we had coffee and a long heart to heart about things that are important to us. Yesterday it was so cold, I got home from the morning school run and had a cup of tea and a hot bath. Today I had a few errands to run in Hebden and I walked along the canal rather than the street.

It was all a bit tired-looking, as many things are in January. But the water had frozen in places so there were big shards of ice floating about. The geese were flapping their wings and splashing around. I saw hellebores and primroses, smoking chimneys and got tantalising glimpses through interesting-looking windows and what lay within.

I’ve stopped dyeing my hair again and am determined to grow it out this time. I’ve also been letting it do it’s thing (be curly) rather than torture it daily with the straighteners. There’s something called the Curly Girl Method (CGM) which means you take care of your hair by co-washing it. Basically, washing it with conditioner rather than stripping it with shampoo. Plus a whole lot of other stuff. But I’m taking it one step at a time, and today’s step started with the purchase of some CGM-approved items: a bottle each of Faith in Nature’s Aloe Vera and Wild Rose conditioner.

And completely unrelated but still nice, a new red lipstick. I do wear makeup because I like it, but usually just have a smudge of tinted lip balm. I haven’t used lipstick in years but felt a sudden urge to do so.

Finally: the Miscellany.

• Reading: Still on Jilly Cooper’s The Common Years (charity shop find). Am a bit upset actually as she was always one of my heroines but reading about her dogs regularly killing cats and her refusing to put them on leads has made me pretty hacked off with her. Another charity shop purchase waiting to be started is My Family and Other Animals. Seen the TV series, even visited the actual house on Corfu, but never read the book.

• Watching: Young Sheldon. Finally, something all three of us can watch and enjoy. Extremely excited that today is Pizza Friday and that Ozark is back on Netflix tonight. I did watch the SpongeBob movie too but the less said about that the better. Joe loved it; I was convinced it was designed to be viewed whilst tripping on acid. Or mushrooms, or whatever your hallucinogen of choice happens to be.

• Eating: Healthy meals for the most part (with the exception of said pizza). No evening snacking. It’s killing me.

We’re thinking of going out for the day tomorrow. Knaresborough is an option. And according to Jay it’s not too far from Harrogate - and who doesn’t love Harrogate?

Have a wonderful weekend, and again - thank you for reading and commenting. I don’t usually reply but do read your messages, and try to answer any questions.

There you go - a long blog post with (yet again) lots and lots of pictures!